My Pole Community....

Why did I fall in love with pole? It was the pole community, just that plain and simple.

It is almost four years now since I first walked thru the doors of Twirly Girls Pole Fitness and took my first pole dancing class. I had no idea what to really expect and I was totally stepping out of my comfort zone. But, it was that day that I found a new group of amazing people and a continuing growing group of friends in this amazing community.

What I loved about this community was that it was so accepting. Here I was a somewhat over weight, awkwardly shy guy and none of that mattered to anyone. If I was there to learn pole, that was all that mattered. As time went by, their simple acceptance actually boosts my confidence. As my confidence grew, I put myself out there more in the pole community. And it just seemed to grow from there.

Now, here is something that really amazed me. I went to my first Pole Expo in Las Vegas sometime in my second year of poling. It was kind of a last minute decision. Here I was with pole dancers from across the country and around the world and I still felt the same. This same acceptance that I felt from my pole studio, I was getting it from these complete strangers. That feels pretty amazing!

Pole Expo also was a hub of who’s who in the pole industry. The pros, there to perform and instruct. The pole business, clothing, poles, grip aids and everything else pole related. I got to meet so many of them! I am lucky that I have an awesome friend that had already worked hard at making a lot of these great connections. But I can say, it was great to feel this since of respect that came from all of these people when I met them! I felt it with the Bad Kitty owners, Jack and Trisha, or Joel at Mighty Grip. Or when Josiah Grant gave me my stage name and when Zoraya Judd was helping me invert in her workshop. Even getting to sit down with Suwasit and have lunch. Best way to describe it, they made me feel like I was someone, the same respect that they gave to the pros, they gave to me and that feels pretty amazing! And each Pole Expo, that experience has continued to grow.

All of this continued, even after Pole Expo. I can’t say how great it feels that I have been able to go to these people for support in my AIDS LifeCycle fundraising I have been doing the last few years. The pole community has helped me raise some major money in the fight against HIV and AIDS, from either monetary donating directly or donating product for the fundraisers.

I guess what I am getting at is that I have always felt that the pole community was every accepting. It didn’t matter where you came from, what you looked like, what abilities or disabilities you had. If you had the heart to pole, they had the heart to help you achieve your goals. It always felt like a group that was always united together and there to help everyone.

It was a group that was united as one family and supported everyone.

I wish it would stay that way. 

There is no crying in Pole Dancing... ok, sometimes there is.

Sometimes, you just need to take a moment to yourself and shed a few tears… Then get back on the pole.

So, the other day I was in pole class and having a hard time with getting the moves that were being taught.  I was getting frustrated with myself. I know some had to do with my lack of flexibility on one of the moves, but the other I should have been getting.

Now I realized that I do have a lot going on in my life right now and it is adding stress on me. The law firm I work for is merging with another firm. I know I am keeping my job, but there is still stress there. I also have the AIDS LifeCycle coming up in June and that is weighing on me. Plus add a couple of other stress factors, well it starts having an effect on you.  That stress starts to build up and your health, mentality and even your poling can be affected.

Now back to the other night, we were working on getting into a Martini and I was just not having any luck. I was giving up. I had to sit down. I getting really frustrated with myself and feeling like a failure. As I sat in that corner I started to cry. Surprisingly, no one noticed, or at least let me have my moment in peace.  I just sat there feeling the tears running down my cheeks.

The thing was it felt good. It felt like a little bit of stress was released with each tear. I could feel the tightness in my muscles let up as I let my emotions out.  I took my moment to myself and just let it happen. When I was done crying, dried my tears and was ready to rejoin the class.

I got on to the pole, did my side climb up, swung my leg to the other side, grabbed that leg and there I was, in the Martini.

I am also lucky to have a great instructor, one that knows when to push me and when to let me have my moment in the corner.  

So when life starts to get in your way and weigh down on you, that that moment to yourself and just let the tears flow. There is nothing wrong with it. Just let the stress out then dry them and get on with life.

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Am I ready to make a big reveal?

Every morning you look in the mirror and see yourself, all of yourself.  The question is what do others see when they look at you. Even more specific, what do you hide when they look at you?

I myself like to say that I am pretty much an open book, but I know that is not completely true.  We all keep things about ourselves secret, whether it’s our insecurities, our true feelings, a physical imperfection or even our sexuality. After you do that for so long, it becomes even harder to pull those covers off the mirrors and allow your full reflection to show to others.

One reason we keep things secret is that we don’t want them to be used against us. On that same note though, how much power do those secrets have over us once we reveal them ourselves?  Let’s see if I get enough guts to make my own big reveal by the time I am finished writing this blog.

Awhile ago I did a blog on things that people did not know about me. You can read it here. Some of the things that are on the list were reveals about my, while others were more of things that I would just call un-known facts about me.  Saying that, I guess a big reveal is something that would make you look at a person differently. It could be good or bad, but never the less, your view of that person is changed.

One reveal I recently did, and caught on video was a lap dance! I have danced plenty of times in my underwear in front of other people, but this was the first time on another person. Plus it was my first real number I have done that was so sexual in nature. I will now share that video for all of your enjoyment! You can watch it here. I was afraid to watch it at first myself, but when I finally did, I have to say that I was not that bad! Ha-ha! Was that enough of a big reveal?

Another thing about big reveals is who learns about them. You might not mind one group of people knowing who you might have a total pole crush on, but then there are others that is just none of their damn business. Even as I write this, I wonder who might read it, or watch the video. 

In the end, I guess we all make our reveals when we are ready. It’s part of life, learning to know when it is time to open yourself up. Eventually, you will realize that you are no longer looking in the mirror, but out the window… and not care about all those who are looking in.  It’s your life and let the sun shine in!

My 2014 Pole Goals!

My pole goals for the year of the horse, 2014!

First on my list, is more of a continuation from 2013. I want to continue working on my flexibility. I have been slowly getting a little more bendy with the help of AJ at Twirly Girls Pole Fitness, but I really want to push myself this year. I know I have it in me, as I have seen how far I can flex in some areas when AJ pushes on my body. I just need to get to where I can do it on my own. Oh, and remember to breath while I am stretching myself out.   

Next on the list is getting into Superman, on my own. This will be happening soon I hope. I can get into Superman out of Jasmine with a little help now. When I say a little help, I mean someone grabbing my ass and pushing me thigh over and popping into position. I know I can hold the position once I get into it. Then, of course, I want to keep working on other moves as well. I can only get better, right?

 

The third item on my list is dealing with choreography. I am lousy at learning choreography and coming up with it. I think part of this has to do with my dyslexia. I seem to get moves switched around or backwards. So, right now, when I perform, I do it free style. One thing that I have planned to do to help me get over this is a pole number with Jade for the Lovely Rita Fundraiser later this year. I am hoping this will build my confidence with choreographed numbers.

What you will see next on my list is I want to just continue to have fun! I enjoy my classes, dancing with my fellow pole dancers and promoting pole. That fun also includes looking forward to going to Pole Expo in Las Vegas! I have to wait till September for that though.

 

The last thing on my list is actually a goal for 2015. I want to be the Might Grip Guy of 2015. First step is becoming the Face of Mighty Grip for a month in 2014. I am on my third try, for the Face of February. At least I know I have 9 or 10 more tries if I don’t get February. After I win a month, I go on to the next level for Mighty Grip Guy 2015. Don’t you think a Cowboy would make a good Mighty Grip Guy? I do have to say I love all the support I have gotten from the folks at Mighty Grip, especially Stephanie! So if you see my photo post from Mighty Grip on FaceBook, please ‘like’ it!

So, I think that ends my list, for now. I know as the year progresses, I will want to add more to it. I will keep you up dated as we go. 

Keep it wild!

My Pole Family

I have heard that Armistead Maupin once said “there is your biological family and then there is your logical family.”  I lucked out and my biological family is part of my logical family. Today, however, I am going to talk about the non biological family, my pole family.

When I started pole dancing, I figured on a couple of things. One, I would be getting some exercise and probably shed a few pounds. I also know I would have some fun doing it. The biggest thing I got out of pole dancing, and unexpected, was the sense of family.

On the first time entering the pole studio, I was a little apprehensive. I was entering what I thought was the girl’s club house. That feeling went right out the door. I was immediately considered one of the girls and family bonding time had begun. I was just blown away by the instant support at was shown towards me over just the first few pole classes I had taken.  That sense of belonging just continued to grow from there.

 

(Ok, I have to interject here… As I am writing this blog about pole family, I am also dealing with my pole show I am doing February 1 for my AIDS LifeCycle fundraiser. They say family is there to help you out, well, Diana, one of the instructors from the studio I go to, just volunteered her stage pole for us to use at the show. This is what I am talking about! Ok, now back to your regularly planned blog.)

 

Now, this new family all belongs to the same studio. I did a pole show last year as a fundraiser and I cannot tell you how lucky and proud I was to be a part of this group. The performers volunteering their time and donating their tips, it was amazing! Then there is the learning. If someone thought of something that might help me progress in pole dancing, they let me know, even if I was not in one of their classes. And again, the support is amazing. I am not a great pole dancer but the way this group cheers you on, you can’t help but feel great about your performance. But like I said, this was my pole studio family. It wasn’t till I went to Pole Expo that I saw how big my whole Pole Family was.

Pole Expo was amazing for me! (Thanks to my hubby for paying for me to go! Love You!) I got to meet so many people. How can I describe it? It was like every person I met, regardless of what level they were at in pole dancing or how well they were know, I was on that same level, I was just as important.  It was like, ‘oh, you pole? Then you’re family’.  And the connections continue on, even after the expo was over. Most of it might be on FaceBook, but the communication continues. The notes of support, the comments of encouragement, all of it makes me feel like I belong.

Then there are even the people in pole that I have not met in person, but treat me like family. It makes me feel good and appreciated.

The last thing I’ll say about my pole family is you have all affected me one way or another. Because of you, I push myself harder and further. Not just in pole, but in all aspects of my life. I feel that I can’t fail; I have too many hands holding me up and pushing me higher. I can only imagine what this world would be like if more people were this accepting and giving and caring as my pole family.

 

Poling in 2013

What a great year 2014 is going to be! How do I know that? I just look back at what I accomplished and where I was in 2013!

 

Yeah, I have to say that 2013 was a pretty great year. I got to meet some amazing people and see some fantastic performances. The thing is that none of this would ever have happened if not for pole dancing. I have come a long way in 2013 in my pole adventures, especially in the last four months. 

One of the first big events for me was my fund raiser for the AIDS LifeCycle.  I was so amazed by the turn out and the unbelievable support from my fellow performers. Unfortunately, I injured my knee not too long for the bike ride and I was unable to do it. I am gearing up to do it this year and have another fund raiser in the works. 

March, 2013 had me reaching my first year of pole dancing. That made me an ‘OTG!’ an Original Twirly Girl at Twirly Girls Pole Fitness.  I was very proud of that and looking forward to reaching two years.  

I had a great time in 2013, but I have to say, the best part of the year started in September. First, there was Pole Expo in Las Vegas. That was an amazing event for me!

 

 

I got to meet so many amazing and wonderful people!  I took one of Zoraya Judd’s work shops and she had me doing some moves that I had never been able to do and gave a couple of great pole bruises too. I also got to meet and hang out with some of the most amazing performers, like Josiah “BadAzz” Grant, David Owen, and Suwasit Ritthiphon. Oh, and I got to meet Timber Brown, who had just come off of America’s Got Talent. By the way, it was Josiah “BadAzz” that gave me my stage name Cowboy Wild.

 

I also got to meet some other great people in the pole industries while at the expo. Of course there was Fawnia herself.

 

Then there were Trisha and Jack from Bad Kitty. I found some great shorts to pole dance in because of Trisha. I secretly want to be a Bad Kitty model!

 

There were the amazing ladies at Just Pole. They had donated to my AIDS LifeCycle so I had to personally thank them.

 

I also got to meet some amazing photographers, Christopher Donald and Sam Green. I’m still enjoying FaceBook banter with Sam. He has such a positive outlook on life.

I also got to do a photo shoot with Somer Ahonen of LockBox Studios. I never know I looked that good!

 

 

All I know is that I had such a great time at Pole Expo that I am going again this year! Everyone I have meet there has been so supportive! Pole Expo has even donated two passes to my fund raiser on February 1, 2014. Speaking about support from being at Pole Expo, I can’t forget to mention the crew at Mighty Grip! I didn’t get to meet Stephanie Brinlee, from Mighty Grip while at the last expo, but I am sure we have a date at the next one! She has been a great FaceBook friend and can’t wait to meet her in person! 

 

The other big thing for me in the last part of 2014 was meeting AJ. I started taking one of his classes at Twirly Girls Pole Fitness just a couple months ago. With him pushing my boundaries and body, I have come a long way in pole dancing. His encouragement and support is amazing and I am glad he doesn’t let me get away with me saying “I can’t do that.” 

 

Finally, while all that was happening in 2013, I continued to have a blast with the Viking Warrior, Lori, in her Boys, Girls and Twirls class. The place and person that got me started on this great adventure in Pole Dancing!

 

 

So, as you can see, 2013 has been a pretty amazing year for me. Now, lets get going and make 2014 even better!