Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Finding Myself In Pole Dancing

I have been trying to write a blog about men in pole dancing, and not having very much luck getting my words to come together. Further below you will see what has taken me over three weeks to come up with. As for right now, I am going to say this. It applies to a lot of things in life.

When you do not allow men that want to pole dance into your studio, you are shutting a door. You’re not just shutting the door on that man; you are shutting it on yourself too. You or your business can not expand behind closed doors.

I have been poling now for two years. It is kind of hard to believe how far I have come. I lived a life where I did not get much exercise and was slowly putting weight on. I do not want to think where I would be weight wise if I did not find pole dancing… better yet, if pole dancing did not find me.  I am now down over 35 pounds, I have greater confidence in myself and I have more strength. Most importantly, I have found a place where I feel I belong, a place I can call home and a group of people I can call family. I have found courage to put myself out there. I was even the Face of Mighty Grip for the month of February. Plus I am a new member of the Pole Dancing Bloggers.  I am happy that I can pole dance.

Now, what if that door was shut on me? I might be sitting on the couch watching a bad horror movie on the SyFi channel, weighing 200 to 225 pounds.  My self confidence would be less, and maybe just following in others ways instead of making my own way.

What about the pole studio? The things I have achieved, those are notches that the studio can boast about. I mean what is greater than being able to say, “Hey, we helped Robert find himself and look how far he has come!" They can say, “The Face of February for Might Grip is one of our students!” How cool is that?

I have had doors shut on me before, it’s not fun. It has you walking away feeling even less of yourself. So, just remember, when you open that door, you will most likely be changing someone’s life and that will change yours!

Ok, here is what I had been working on what seemed like forever.  I was just having too much trouble getting it to come out.

Finding my place in pole… as a man.

When I first started poling, I have to admit that I was a little intimidated. I was walking into what I thought was a woman’s world. I know there were a couple of the ladies that would not have a problem with me in the studio, but not sure about the one that did not know me. I have to say that I was quickly relieved that I was wrong on those thoughts!

I pole at Twirly Girls Pole Fitness in Pleasanton, California. Despite the name, this is a pole studio that allows men and shows them just as much respect as the woman. As a matter of fact, a couple of the instructors are guys.  Everyone there seemed perfectly fine with me in their pole class and quick to welcome me.  As a matter of fact, in my two years of poling, I have not felt any judgment against me from the pole community…

Ugh…. I have been trying to write this blog for several weeks now and I am not getting the words to flow. You would think it would be an easy topic for me to write about, since I am man that pole dances. I think I will just do a quick run through of the thoughts I have been having.

First thing that popped into my head is pole clothing. I have found that most the companies that sell pole clothing really don’t have a lot for men, if they have anything at all. Finding a pole outfit to perform in is near impossible.  I do feel that this is a market that is just waiting to be tapped into in the pole industry. There seems to be more and more men getting into pole dancing and they are going to need a place to spend their money.  I do have to say that I do like dancing in the PoleFit Fold Over Pole Fitness Shorts from Bad Kitty. But like the Capezio dance shorts I also wear, they are also a woman’s cut. I have heard some talk that there are a couple of lines for men that might be coming out, but not sure when. Until then I guess I could always perform in my Andrew Christian Ass-less Underwear and cowboy boots. I wonder who would like to see that.

Another thing I was thinking, how many studios have actually had men sign up and pay to take a pole class just to check out the women? I know I have only been poling for two years, but I have yet to hear about this actually happening.  I know I was in some pain in my first class and left swore and bruised. I am sure that would be a deterrent to any men that just wanted to gawk at the woman.  Also, most women are intuitive enough to know when a man walks through their studio door if he is legit in wanting to learn pole or just a creeper. I guess what I am getting at, is don’t let this be a reason not to allow men into your studio. I am sure, if you run a man through a regular pole work out, he will not come back if he is not really there to pole dance.
Now, here are some photos of this man in pole dancing...


  1. Love this - & this website has some good guys shorts :)

  2. Thank you for putting it out there how hard this is to write about--I am having the same struggle! I love how your pictures tell the story: men can fit right in with pole dancing women and become part of that wonderful dance energy.

    And pervs are lazy--you see it in internet spam and in clubs. This is so true: "I am sure, if you run a man through a regular pole work out, he will not come back if he is not really there to pole dance." I bet that goes for both male and female pervs. I like the idea of pole dance itself weeding out the non polers!

    I admire your bravery to be a pole dancing guy. Seeing your pictures you look so confident I would not have imagined you being intimidated or vulnerable, it just goes to show what determination and a good, supportive community can do. I can't wait to see what else you will achieve in pole dance!

  3. made me cry in the very first paragraph..What a well written piece. I can't imagine not having boys in our classes or our studio...the thought just never even crossed my mind that boys couldn't be a part of our family...And yes, our name does say Twirly Girls and some have asked me about that...but at the time when we came up with our name we really thought of it more of a Cute, Safe name, trying to get away from the Seductive names some were using...I wanted something whimsical...that's why nowadays I do refer to us as our Twirly Tribe...But this is about you...I can't tell you how much we've watched you grow...and I don't use me, I use we because we've all seen you grow so much more confident, and taking chances and risks...I watch and hear everything...I love to sit back and watch my students and how they interact with others...the other night at Pole Play I watched you interact with one of our new students and helped her with a few moves...I saw you were proud to be able to get to a place where you felt you could share something, and I noticed she felt very comfortable with you even in your undies...heheh.. no weird vibes floating around...I also listened as you opened up a part of your self to some of our other students, sharing your stories, and life experiences, and them embracing you and your journey. Its what makes us such an awesome family, and I cannot tell you how proud of you we all are, and, I truly see you helping to open up doors to our Pole World for other boys out there who may not feel its something they can do. We're not looking for the super dog who can do anything, we're embracing the average person who doesn't think they can, but then realize they did...
    We all start at the bottom...and with help, support and love we work our way up...We all love you CowboyWild...