There is no crying in Pole Dancing... ok, sometimes there is.

Sometimes, you just need to take a moment to yourself and shed a few tears… Then get back on the pole.

So, the other day I was in pole class and having a hard time with getting the moves that were being taught.  I was getting frustrated with myself. I know some had to do with my lack of flexibility on one of the moves, but the other I should have been getting.

Now I realized that I do have a lot going on in my life right now and it is adding stress on me. The law firm I work for is merging with another firm. I know I am keeping my job, but there is still stress there. I also have the AIDS LifeCycle coming up in June and that is weighing on me. Plus add a couple of other stress factors, well it starts having an effect on you.  That stress starts to build up and your health, mentality and even your poling can be affected.

Now back to the other night, we were working on getting into a Martini and I was just not having any luck. I was giving up. I had to sit down. I getting really frustrated with myself and feeling like a failure. As I sat in that corner I started to cry. Surprisingly, no one noticed, or at least let me have my moment in peace.  I just sat there feeling the tears running down my cheeks.

The thing was it felt good. It felt like a little bit of stress was released with each tear. I could feel the tightness in my muscles let up as I let my emotions out.  I took my moment to myself and just let it happen. When I was done crying, dried my tears and was ready to rejoin the class.

I got on to the pole, did my side climb up, swung my leg to the other side, grabbed that leg and there I was, in the Martini.

I am also lucky to have a great instructor, one that knows when to push me and when to let me have my moment in the corner.  

So when life starts to get in your way and weigh down on you, that that moment to yourself and just let the tears flow. There is nothing wrong with it. Just let the stress out then dry them and get on with life.

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The Emotional Spirituality Of Pole

I remember watching a movie called ‘The Man in the Moon’ back in the early 1990’s. In the movie, the father would go fishing down at the lake every Sunday.  His family referred to this as him going to his church. It was his way of finding God.

I guess we all have our own church that we attend and regardless of what religion belief you follow, the true nature of any spirituality is to find yourself.  For me, at this time in my life, that has been pole.

When you look at religion or spirituality, there are basic elements that a person is looking to find. They are also looking for the guidance to find these elements in themselves. Surprisingly, I have been guided to find these same elements in myself with pole dancing.  Strength, Balance, Courage, Determination are all things that I have found in pole dancing. The scene of community, the support to achieve your goals and the desire to help others achieve theirs, again all elements of spirituality, yet found in a church that had poles instead of pews.  Plus, when you get to the point where you are comfortable dancing around with others in your underwear, you have truly reached a higher plane!

Pole has also been an emotional outlet for me, too.  It’s a place I can let my guards down and not have to worry about judgments from other.  It has become my sanctuary.  It’s very therapeutic being to dance my emotions out. I do notice that my emotions do come out in the way I dance depending on how I am feeling.

I also like to pick music that I can emotionally connect to. I think that is one reason I like country music, I can relate to it and I find it emotionally activating. That is why I perform to a lot of country songs. I want to shear that emotional connection I’m feeling with my music with my audience. I like it more when someone says that my number made them cry or happy or even reminded them of someone rather than how well I pole danced.

I guess the main thing is that I am at home with pole dancing. I am with family every time I walk through that door and that is what really counts.